With everything going on in my own life and the country at large, I decided to re-read The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers.This is a picture book about a little girl who loses someone important to her. And it hurts so much that she puts her heart in a bottle. But you can't lock your heart away without losing a huge part of who you are.
And once you've lost that part, you may not be able to get it back on your own. Luckily, there is another little girl who can help her out.
This book has been personally important to me. It came out in March of 2010. My Dad got diagnosed with cancer in February of that year. The Sunday before the book actually came out I was looking at it in the back room of the store and it was exactly what I needed. In the face of my Dad's mortality, I had to remember not to protect myself so much that I lost myself.
So, I did what any early 30-something would do. I got a tattoo. I took the book to an artist that afternoon, pointed at a picture from it and said, "I need THAT."
So, he gave me that picture.This tattoo broke all my rules. 1) I have to think about a design for a year before I get it. 2) No color. 3) No tattoos that would be visible in your average ball gown. (No, I've never worn a ball gown. But I thought I might someday.)
It's in color. It's on my wrist. And I got it two hours after I'd seen the image for the first time.
It's been six and a half years. And I've never regretted it, but I've definitely needed to refer to it more than once.
Which brings us to today.
A friend is gone. And I need to remember that I can't avoid other people just to avoid feeling like this again.
My country is not what I was hoping it was. But I need to remember that you have to get up and keep going.
This doesn't mean don't practices self-care. Absolutely do! Protect yourself. But don't protect yourself so much that you end up damaging yourself.
And remember, sometimes the best stories are in the smallest books.
- Current Mood:
sad
We weren’t close.
We had never met in person.
But she was a friend.
Now she is gone.
She mattered.
She will be missed. There are many people coping with that today. Many who are much more qualified than I am to speak about her.
So I will speak to you.
You matter.
You would be missed.
I don’t care about the things that divide us all right now. You matter. You would be missed.
If you are having a hard time, please, reach out. Reach out to a hotline, another friend, to me.
I will help in any way I can.
Because you matter.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255
To Write Love On Her Arms – To Write Love on Her Arms is a nonprofit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.
The Trevor Project – 866-488-7386
The Trevor Project is focused on preventing suicide in the LGBTQ+ community. In addition to their 24/7 hotline, they also have texting and online chat that have slightly reduced hours.
Trans Lifeline – 877-565-8860.
Trans Lifeline is aimed at specifically at the transgender community. All of the people who work there identify as transgender.
Veterans Crisis Hotline – 1-800-273-8255
The Veterans Crisis Hotline is a resource for veterans and their families. They also have a 24/7 chat option.
The Crisis Text Line – text 741741
This is a text only hotline that is available 24/7 in case you feel you cannot talk on the phone to someone.
Thanks to Bustle.com for the list.
- Current Mood: sad
Everything in the clinic was super easy. My blood pressure is disturbingly high, which is a concern, but that might have something to do with the protesters outside. Now, the presence of protesters wasn't a surprise. They were not out in large numbers because I was in the day's first appointment block and they were actually very polite.
I really didn't think I'd have an issue because I'm getting birth control and I'm totally comfortable with all of that. Yeah, I wasn't comfortable.
A very nice looking lady in her late 50's or early 60's was waiting on the sidewalk outside my car when I got out and immediately started offering me help. My ingrained whatever kicked in and I didn't want to be rude, so I said "I'm fine, thank you." And she kept pressing and I kept reiterating that I was picking up birth control and I was fine.
I don't know why I was talking to her. I don't know why she upset me. But I she did.
And then they waved when I left. It was really weird. And really, as protesters go, this was the absolute best circumstance I've ever heard of. There was no anger, no yelling, no threats, nothing at all loud or ugly. But it still shook me.
Guy-type person is off hunting this weekend. Because that's a thing he does sometimes. I'd... really like him to bring me interesting bones, but other than that, I've got no particular interest in hunting. I'm not horrified by it. For the most part. But I don't particularly want to see your hunting photos either. But, he's eithe out of cellphone range or too busy to mess with his cell phone. Either way, I don't get to text him while he's gone. So I'm sad about that.
Work continues apace.
Yesterday author/artist Ben Hatke came to town and I went to sell books at two school events and one at the library. The school was kind of awkward because the pricipal apparently wouldn't let the librarian tell the kids ahead of time that there would be books for sale because that might constitute a fundraiser. (No, it doesn't make any sense to me either.) So, none of the kids had money, so I sold 0 books to a crowd of 600.
Not awesome.
But! The library event was cool and one of my students came dressed at Zita the Spacegirl! That was adorable. And I had several students there, which made me happy. I need to get more of Ben's books for the library, but my budget for this year is really, really small, so I have to be careful about what I buy.
The bookstore is still going. The building has been sold and we're moving sometime around February, but we don't know when or where yet. People keep asking, but we don't have any answers. My boss seems like he wants to stay open, but that could change anytime, so it's just a big waiting game right now.
1. I very rarely use people's first names when I'm talking to them. Like, almost never. Some people get pet names and some people just get addressed with "you," but I almost never call the people near me by name.
2. I complain. Alot. I should probably work on that.
2A. I take things intensely personally, which leads to having just all the emotions about them when they don't go the way I want them to, which leads back to the complaining.
3. I'd really like a great deal more casual touching than I currently get. Not sure what to do about that one. Maybe open a cuddling boutique.
4. I like lists.
So, the new Harry Potter is out today. We thought we had enough, but then had a ton of preorders pour in yesterday afternoon. So, we had two copies that were not spoken for.
They have now been sold.
We've got more due in tomorrow. So...
The thing is, I have no idea how this one is going to go over. It's not actually written by Rowling. It's not a novel. It's not a direct sequel to the 7 novels.
None of which the publisher has made clear. So, either people are going to be excited to get more of the story anyway they can. Or, we're going to be dealing with a bunch of disappointed fans. And I just don't know which.
So, it's going to be an interesting day at the store today.
- Current Mood:
nervous
- 00:41:18: Petrified wood earrings #365accessories http://yfrog.com/h0qy6arj
- 01:01:28: RT @thejillthompson: If you like this, please RT;-) thanks xoxo! http://plixi.com/p/77750523
- 01:02:15: @thejillthompson that's awesome! although, it does make me a little sad for my snake haired sister.
- 01:11:06: I think I've found the means to decorate my Ivy dress! http://tinyurl.com/ybkeepk cc: @gailcarriger
- 10:18:13: @Mauschen absolutely! If we want to I can be ivy 1 day & then you can the next. If you want a crazy crazy hat. I need to find a wig. Hmmm.
- 10:33:06: @JonathanLHoward @little_prof has Johannes Cabal the Detective on the staff picks, from multiple employees!
- 10:36:25: RT @bookladysblog: Nobody saved Borders by talking about how much they love bookstores & then buying online, and nobody will save indies ...
- 10:37:11: RT @joe_hill: Preorder HORNS in trade paperback & get a signed, doodled bookplate for it: http://joehillfiction.com/?p=1782 (pls RT)
- 10:43:32: still working on fingerless gloves! not sure i'll be able to finish this one today for #365accessories though. Need another accessory. hmm
- 10:43:48: @thejillthompson hugs!
- 13:15:13: I have ringlets!!!! http://yfrog.com/hslgzfsj
- 13:26:36: @mercedesKSD thanks! I tried the technique from one of your @Pinterest pins!
- 19:30:05: @JonathanLHoward I think we should be sending you the interview questions tonight. Thanks for letting us put you on the @little_prof site!
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- 01:00:05: Squeaking in just under the line #365accessories http://yfrog.com/h3ookloj http://yfrog.com/h22h7ptj
- 10:37:04: It's not that I don't love all of my vets, but I'm looking forward to the day that I don't have to see them every week! #toomanypets
- 22:19:11: RT @joe_hill: HORNS is out in trade paperback next month. Preorder & get a signed, doodled bookplate for it: http://joehillfiction.com/? ...
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- 00:33:00: @DoloresTabor I bought a whole bunch of stamped brass doodads on etsy a while ago & that was one of them.
- 12:47:54: Finally, finally finished my Ivy hat! Blurry pics now, better pic later. http://yfrog.com/h7og0dsj http://yfrog.com/gyus5avj @gailcarriger
- 16:15:42: Need dog advice: tango has been bobbing her head for about 20 minutes in a repetitive pattern. I don't know if I should be worried or not.
- 16:22:44: @BiggOnion she keeps moving her head, but maybe she just doesn't want me to hold her head. here's a video clip: http://yfrog.us/mzw4tz
- 16:27:11: @BiggOnion which vet do you go to? If they can't see her there's always the emergency vet in Bessemer.
- 17:06:31: At the vet waiting on the dr. cc: @BiggOnion
- 17:15:16: @nchanter_x hugs for both
- 18:09:28: the vet thinks that it was a reaction to the zyrtec we just started Tango on for her skin problem. Leave off all meds tonight & see.
- 19:51:00: Buddha barrette #365accessories http://yfrog.com/h352iotj
- 20:13:03: @gailcarriger aww, thanks!
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